Forgiveness in Romantic Relationships: The Moderating Role of Differentiation of Self in the Relationship Between Offense Severity and Post-Offense Distress

Abstract

El estudio analiza el papel de la diferenciación del yo (DoS) en el proceso de perdón dentro de las relaciones románticas, examinando su función moderadora entre la severidad percibida de la ofensa y el malestar posterior a la misma. Participaron 591 adultos españoles, a quienes se aplicaron cuestionarios validados. Los resultados mostraron que la DoS modera significativamente la relación entre la gravedad percibida de la ofensa y las respuestas emocionales negativas, cognitivas y de resentimiento, pero no influye en las dimensiones positivas del perdón. Las personas con baja DoS experimentaron mayor angustia emocional, mientras que aquellas con alta DoS mostraron mayor regulación y realismo emocional. Los hallazgos sugieren que fortalecer la diferenciación del yo puede ayudar a reducir la carga emocional tras transgresiones interpersonales, aunque no necesariamente fomente la reconciliación.

This study examines the role of differentiation of self (DoS) in the forgiveness process within romantic relationships, focusing on its moderating function between perceived offense severity and post-offense distress. The sample included 591 Spanish par- ticipants aged between 18 and 86 years (M = 42.66, SD = 17.06), and data were collected using validated questionnaires. Findings showed that DoS significantly moderates the relationship between offense severity and negative affect, negative cognition, and avoidance/resentment, but not with the positive dimensions of forgiveness (positive affect, benevolence, or positive behavior). Individuals with low levels of DoS experienced higher emotional distress after an offense, whereas those with high levels showed greater emotional regulation and a more realistic perception of the severity of the situation. These results highlight the impor- tance of DoS as a regulatory resource for managing negative emotional responses but not necessarily as a promoter of prosocial attitudes or reconciliation. Results suggest that strengthening DoS in couples may help reduce the emotional burden of interper- sonal transgressions. Future research could contribute longitudinal designs and dyadic analyses to capture the dynamic nature of forgiveness in romantic relationships.